Well I would like to say that this whole process is getting easier, but it's not. I guess I am shocked at what a huge part of my life cigarettes have become. I guess the hardest thing for me is wondering whats next. My days have been broken up into a series of cigarette breaks for years. When the phone rings, my brain is already on the back porch puffing away while my body stays still in utter shock. "what will I do while i talk on the phone"-Seems so silly and really it is quite embarrassing but it is what it is. I am an addict.
So I woke up this morning and drove my Dad to the airport. The car is not a huge trigger for me-because I usally have kids with me, thus I am not used to smoking in the car. I think physically I am doing better with the withdrawal-the nicotine gum is useful but a poor substitute for deep inhalation. The Wii fit is a great tool that has been successful in diverting my attention which right now is my motive operendum...I must stay focused on not smoking. How I do that is inconsequential. Even as I type I am thinking would 1 puff hurt me...I know this is my reptilian brain talking but considering it is the most primitive form of my anatomy-I give it huge props for its perserverence.
Not smoking has done some good for me-I am breathing MUCH easier, my circulation has improved and most of all I have saved 24 dollars. I am soon going to add how much $ I have put out over the years, but I freely admit the thought of what that number could be makes me nauseous! More later....
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